Sincerity...

Do I have to explain or you already understand what I meant...
In a relationship there is no cash or financial that are so calculative or tangled in between...
This is not like when I give you 50cents and you have to return me 50 cents after that...
In a relationship... we dun calculate like that...
when you need 50cents i will give you 2 dollar... when you need 50 dollar i will give you 150 dollars... and you do not need to return me anything in any form... not even a favor...
I know and I understand what I'm giving and offer to you... you are not cheating anything from me.... please understand this...

All those stuffs that I have bought for you.... you deserve to have those stuffs...
The gadgets I bought for you is for you.... it was a belated valentine's gift and an early birthday gift...
I didnt buy you anything else after that... did I??
I'm the one who sign up the mobile plan for you... I'm the one should be responsible... and of course I will pay for you every single month without a miss... please remember you dun owe me any single thing from here....
the starhub bill I need to pay back because it was me that make you in such debt... I was that fucker.... I called you when you are were in HK... do you still remember that???

I really wanted to buy you an IPad end of this month... My heart feel pain when I see you looking at the small screen mobile to online... when you are looking at your FB page and those beautiful shoes and clothes.... it cracks my heart...
Your eyes degree is getting higher and deeper.... my heart feel pain... you might understand or might not understand how i feel now... but all i wanna do was just to make sure you have a comfortable device to online... I want you to have the best... so that your eyes will not feel pain and your degree will not get higher...
What i'm planning actually is that if your eyes degree will not fall so deep then next year we can save up for your eyes laser operation... I may not tell you this because I have learn not to promise until i able to pay for it...

The whole September month.. was a month that I love and enjoy the most... I'm seriously serious...
this is because I able to help you and your mom to take care of the house...
I love the moment when you call me after work and rush me to your house and do the chores....
this is nothing to do with maid or slave... I'm more than willing to clean your room... do your laundry... clean your sons poo... bath them... feed them... walk them....
I love you and and I love them... dont you feel what I feel... But you should know how I feel all the time....
what I'm saying in this blog are sincere and straight from my heart...

I understand the whole situation.. I know why I'm giving you what you want and need....
you are not cheating or taking any of my cash.... actually did you realize that when i going after you... your mindset was really really negative like now... but at that time somehow I able to change you... I was trying my best to let you know what is positive and be positive...

I admit that i'm wrong i plead myself guilty... The few previous posting was my anger... Those days i was having really bad days... I'm not perfect but who is perfect... If loving you is a crime then plead me guilty....

The purpose of this blog is to show how much i love you and how deep i'm in love with you.... I just wanna express my feelings towards you... I really really really wanna tell you that i really really really treasure this relathionship.... I also want to appreciate whatever we have done and gone through... I wanna plan for our future now... It might be late.. but at least i'm trying to go another step forward.... I love you every single moment that we are together whether it was bad or good....

All the single thing that i have done and did... It was me that willingly do it for you without any hesitation or consideration... It is just for you and no one else... I never did what I've done with you when i was with N.... You are worthy for my strength and time... I'm serious here dear... Believe me once more dear... I really need you in my life... I will make it exciting and adventurous as you always wanted.... I wanna let you know that i love you from the day i met you till now... and i wanna make another step forward with you... I wanna love you till I hit six feet under....

Please understand the purpose of this blog and my heart towards you.... I need you..