changing wave...

last night... i see the 'cold' side of you.... in your eyes... i can feel there are changes... your feeling towards me had totally change... you prefer to talk to your buddy than me... you are organizing outing with your buddy... and me? next friday you are on leave... you didnt tell me... am i really someone not important to you anymore? just a maid? a slave? or just a ordinary hi and bye friend.... i hold my breath a few times... and tell myself not to breakdown...

I'm not blaming you dear... but just that you are more concentrate to him than me...

On the way....

everytime when you say... 'i wanna ditch you'... my heart will just break and it tear.... i feel so so pain... no words able to describe... i do not know how to answer or response this cruel and heartless statement... sometimes i will have difficulty breathing... the tears does not flow out from my eyes but it flow inside my weak heart....

if these days do reach and stood in front of me... i will accept with cries in my heart and with years to come... i really would love to love you... and see you smile and laugh with all your cheerfulness... but i do know what you really need... and for right now... i could not provide...
i often picture another person holding your hand and you smile to him... that will just make me cry and die... he may provide you all the needs that you needed... and the only thing i will able to do is to leave in silent and dissapear... i would live and leave in vain....

for what i did might be cruel to myself... but i really wanted to see you smile and be happy... do you still remember what i've promised you when i met you the first time... i promised you to give you a permanent smile and happyness in your life... i will make sure you have it... just that is it me or someone who make you smile....

the only thing i would really miss about you is your beautyful angel smile... everytime when you smile and laugh you will just melt my heart... i really love the way you done it in front of me... everytime when i tell you how beautiful you are... i seriously mean it from my heart... without any hesitation... in my heart there is no one much more beautiful than you...

your sons are very cute but naughty especially lilo... i love to bath and walk them... seriously now it become a habit for me to clean and play with your sons....

your mom is the most understandable and cute mom you ever have... pls treasure her words and take good care of her... sometimes she's weak to do anything... time to time try to talk to her... i would really miss her cooking one day... and thank you ms pang...

if i really do dissapear in front of you one day... will you look for me? will you be scare? will you cry? pls dont.... because that is the time i wanna give you your happiness...

I could not picture myself without you in the future... this will the darkest day of my life....

one day if faith play his part and permits me... i would like to walk Thunder once more...

by telling all this to you... because i really love you...